My Eyes Just Exploded

I just could not help but share this link with the world, it is pretty popular on dig at the moment but its not the most popular. It is however so frightening that I can't help but write about it. So without further ado, this weeks sort of most popular digg article is..................The Most Intense Website Intro Ever!

I thought the flash intro had died along with dial-up modems, but I am now starting to see them with increasing frequency. This is only an extreme example of the horrors that can be found on an increasing number of websites. Horrifying, seizure causing, jaw dropping, over the top flash intros.

The thing that gets me the most is that flash intros serve no purpose whatsoever. If a site can't excite you on its own, then it doesn't have exciting content. It would be like getting a presents for Christmas that is the shape of a dirt bike when its wrapped, but when you open it up its just a sweater. In fact, the only reason I can think that a flash intro is appropriate to instruct people in the use of the site, but even then, if the site is so complicated as to require instructions then it is a poorly designed website.

I feel as though the growth of this new trend is purely driven by the idea that people, like crows, are instinctively attracted to shiny things, and I think it has no place in any effective webpage.

Internet Music

Well I know you have all (not) been waiting on the edges of your seats for this blogs next post. And here it is, the most dugg story this week is..........................Best Video I've Seen Today Will Make You Smile.(aka Worst Grammar I've Seen Today Will Make You Cringe)

So, I've never been a huge fan of the quality of music that the internet spawns. It helps me share great songs by real artists , but most of the user generated content consists of stuff like "Chocolate Rain" (see above) or "What, What, In the Butt" (don't youtube that).

Then comes along a song that was made with the internet, so I should hate it. Unfortunately for my sense of comedy I actually love it, it moves you and promotes a sense of connectivity with the rest of the world (through a means other than Swine Flu). The only reason I can think that I like it is because actually a cover of a real song, and because I love blind singers (Ray Charles FTW).

Stuff like this reminds me that within the mountain of disgusting Oyster slime that is the internet, you can find the occasional pearl.

All the Loot, None of the Scurvy!

So the big news all around the web this week is that some guys in Sweden are in some trouble with the worlds (America's) Music and Movie companies. It is no surprise then that this weeks most dugg article is..................The Official Pirate Bay Trial Verdict: Guilty

So I understand that as most people get older they begin to see things from a slightly different point of view, and that these Rose Colored Glasses (Blindfolds and Earplugs) can leave them unaware of the true reality of a situation that the younger generation can plainly see.

This verdict took months to reach and most likely wasted Hundreds of Thousands of dollars, and achieved absolutely nothing. The Pirate Bay is still operational, and I can use it just like I always have. Even if these numbskulls in the RIAA and the MIAA managed to shut down every torrent Tracking website on the internet, which is impossible, and managed to get jail sentences for all their creators so they could not create again, which is also impossible, then they still wouldn't have stopped piracy on the internet. The problem that these people don't see is there is a huge piracy culture that survives without torrent trackers, the only thing you need to get any torrent you want is just bittorrent and Google or Yahoo or any other common search engine.

I'd like to see these buffoons go after Google in any court of law and watch them get counter sued for millions in court fees, it wouldn't even be a trial it would be the equivalent to a parent spanking its annoying and pompous child.

You can't stop piracy on the net, you can't even slow it down. Unless you change your business middle to make me want to pirate less then you'll never be able to stop me.

How Do You Defend Yourself Against 2 Dildos?

*SPECIAL EDITION*

So its a break from the normal routine, but I just had to talk about the one movie i'm actually excited to see this year. BRUNO

This movie is incredible! It's funny, and clever and all the things a comedy should be. However, it has a crucial factor that most shows don't, it's real. This is a show that would only be excepted by the youtube generation.

It doesn't matter how vulgar it is, people will eat it up because of its format. It's a series of short clips with very little plot, just like the original Borat. It does its best to pack as many laughs as possible into every scene. All of these scenes could hit millions of views on youtube in a few weeks, but together they form a movie that will make millions of dollars.

I'm not sure if this is the beginning of a whole new style of film that old school film makers will adopt, or if youtubers will attempt to produce large scale projects like this too turn a profit, but I'm sure that the success of these movies will be a big eye opener for Hollywood.

Pop-Down

Ok, i'm not so excited about this weeks most dugg article. Maybe it's because my family doesn't really understand how April Fool's day works. Let's just say that "You were a mistake" isn't the best lead in too an amusing practical joke. Well anyway....... Digg's April Fool's day Pop-up Shenanigans

This one wasn't even that funny for me because I use Firefox, so I don't get Pop-ups. But this brings up an interesting question. Why the F*** are Pop-ups even used anymore, I can understand that maybe the granny market loves to click on whateve appears on the screen, but in this day and age it should be hard to trick a trained chimpanzee into clicking a pop-up ad or some flashing banner add that looks like it should give people seizures.

When was the last time someone was surfing the net and a pop-up flashed up, and that person looked at the pop-up and said to themselves, "I've been meaning to enlarge my penis size lately, this looks like a totally legit way to do it! Thanks Internet." I would propose that that scenario occurs as often as someone who is under 18 clicking that they are under 18 when looking porn, that is too say never.

They must certainly be spening money to program and host these ads, and must certainly pay for the space that it takes to allow me to pie the clown for a free PS3. My question is how do they make that money back, their has to be some sort of return profit for them to keep doing it. Well, I guess if the question is, "Is the internet really dumb enough to fall for that?" The answer is always, "Yes."

Daft It Yourself

So this weeks most dugg article was a dark horse, surpassing all of this weeks submissions in a mere 14 hours at the time of this writing. But, I feel it probably deserves it depending on how much office time you need to waste and if you have headphones. Well anyway, without further ado I bring you....................Your Keyboard is Now Daft Punk!

This is quite the nifty little program. For those not in the know Daft Punk is one of the most popular electronic/house groups of the past several decades. Their most widely known song is "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" which you may have heard remived into Kanye West's (The voice of this generation of this decade, and also a stunning grammarian) hit song "Stronger".

With this new little application I can mix and make my own "funky beats" that are incredibly similar to the original song. Why should I illegally download the original when I can just jam on my keyboard and create a horrifying frankenstein of a song that makes my eardrums bleed...oh that's right, some things are better left to proffesionals. If everyone could mix up some words in a robot voice and have it sell platinum albums their wouldn't be any House or electronic groups left, because we would have already killed them all for annoying the living s*** out of us.

Putting the power to create in the hands of the people is always a good thing, but sometimes the people, who I will hence-forth refer to as "my roommate" abuse that power. Sometimes when you tell my roommate about a cool site, he'll play with for hours until 4 in the f***ing morning making sounds cause you to see the face of satan. Sometimes my roommate (the people) need to restrain their need to create and just enjoy something thats good. After all, their are professionals for a reason.

Prankalicious

So I may be bending the formula a little this week but the top article on digg this week is boring and also probably fake. It is some fake newspaper clipping about how beer turns men into women. I however will be writing about this weeks second most dugg article...... Collegehumor's Prank War 7.

I have always been a fan of the prank, it is a lost art form. And, to have a prank of such magnitude occur at my college without me being there upsets me. I actually would have attended this game (not a basketball fan) just to watch this guy get owned by his friend.

I challenge my readers to prank their friend this week. It doesn't have to be big, maybe just put plastic wrap over their toilet or a thumb tack under their chair. After all, pranks are the only way you can be a terrible person to someone and then have them respect you for it, and isn't that what we need more of in today's world.